12. Faulty: They were really constantly thinking about the remodeling of their house. (Say 'Their minds were constantly on the remodeling of their house'; or, 'They thought of nothing else but the remodeling of their house'.) 371. Force in repetition. Another means of securing force is repetition: 1. And a scornful laugh laughed he. LONGFELLOW. 2. She was the most arch and at the same time the most artless creature, was the youngest Miss Pecksniff. DICKENS. 3. He followed out of the room, followed down the stairs, followed down the court, followed out into the streets. - DICKENS. 4. This edition is ill compiled, ill arranged, ill written, and ill printed. MACAULAY. 5. He was truly a spoiled child, not merely the spoiled child of his parent, but the spoiled child of nature, the spoiled child of fortune, the spoiled child of fame, the spoiled child of society. — MACAULAY. NOTE 1. A subject sometimes begins a sentence and is left without a predicate; a new sentence is introduced which contains the first subject in a different form (this is not for ordinary use): He that hath, to him shall be given. - THE BIBLE. NOTE 2. A noun or pronoun in a subordinate clause is sometimes made emphatic by being carried forward into the principal clause (this is not for ordinary use): Consider the lilies how they grow. — THE BIBLE. 372. Periodic or loose sentence; variety. A sentence may be so composed that it is not grammatically complete until the end is reached. Such a sentence is called periodic. A sentence that is grammatically complete elsewhere than at the end is called loose. Latin is characteristically a periodic language. In the sixteenth and seventeenth centuries English was largely modeled after Latin; but today there is greater freedom, and the good writer obtains variety and emphasis by mingling his sentences, making them long or short, periodic or loose, at his pleasure. The periodic sentence is particularly useful in arousing and maintaining attention and interest. The loose sentence is particularly useful in conversation, letter writing (which is conversation on paper), and narrative; but care should be taken not to let it ramble into a mere collection of clauses connected by and (§ 355, A, 1). The following are examples of periodic and loose sentences: 1. He not only wished to go, but he went. (Periodic.) He wished to go, | and he went. (Loose.) 2. Yesterday, at this very hour, we were in Westminster Abbey. (Periodic.) We were in Westminster Abbey | yesterday, at this very hour. (Loose.) He did not give up, | although he was tired. (Loose.) 3. Finally, after wandering far out of our way and meeting with many mishaps, we reached the river. (Periodic.) We finally reached the river, | after, etc. (Loose.) 4. How much of this morbid feeling sprang from an original disease of the mind, how much from real misfortune, how much from the nervousness of dissipation, how much was fanciful, how much was merely affected, it is impossible for us, and would probably have been impossible for the most intimate friends of Lord Byron, to decide. MACAULAY. (Periodic.) 373. Smoothness. Lord Chesterfield frequently urged his son to seek elegance of diction. On one occasion he wrote, "I need not, I am sure, tell you what you must often have felt, how much the elegancy of diction adorns the best thoughts, and palliates the worst." In another letter he said, "It is not every understanding that can judge of matter; but every ear can and does judge, more or less, of style: and were I either to speak or write to the public, I should prefer moderate matter, adorned with all the beauties and elegancies of style, to the strongest matter in the world, ill worded and ill delivered." 374. Aids to smoothness. If we cannot learn to write and speak with elegance, we can at least attain a certain smoothness by avoiding unpleasant repetition (§§ 65, 66, 370, B, 2), harsh words, and clumsy and obscure methods of expression (§ 375). And just as we can improve our style by reading good authors aloud, so we can correct many of our own mistakes by reading our own work aloud for the ear to pass judgment on (§ 364). 375. Parallelism. Irregularity in the form of a sentence does harm by diverting the reader from the thought. Clearness, force, and smoothness are all gained by expressing a series of parallel ideas in a series of parallel words, phrases, or clauses (a series of three is usually most effective, having a beginning, a middle, and an end): A. Parallel words. 1. Nouns: He enjoys reading, writing, and ciphering. B. Parallel phrases. 1. Nouns: He likes to read, to write, and to cipher. 3. Adverbs: He spoke with simplicity, with directness, and C. Parallel clauses. I. Nouns: That his poetry will undergo a severe sifting, that 3. Adverbs: He likes to read because it increases his vocabulary and broadens his sympathies; he likes to write because it makes him exact and improves his selfexpression; he likes to cipher because it teaches him to analyze and to reason. Study the following examples of parallelism: 1. He [Addison] owed his elevation to his popularity, to his stainless probity, and to his literary fame. MACAULAY. 2. When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. THE BIBLE (I Corinthians, xiii, 11). 3. Though I speak ... And though I have ... And though I bestow all my goods. . THE BIBLE (I Corinthians, xiii, 1-3. Study the entire chapter; see Matthew, v, 3-9, and vii, 24–27). 4. The way was through the dense forest, encumbered with rocks and logs, tangled with roots and underbrush, damp with perpetual shade, and redolent of decayed leaves and mouldering wood. PARKMAN. 5. If the flights of Dryden therefore are higher, Pope continues longer on the wing. If of Dryden's fire the blaze is brighter, of Pope's the heat is more regular and more constant. Dryden often surpasses expectation, and Pope never falls below it. Dryden is read with frequent astonishment, and Pope with perpetual delight. SAMUEL JOHNSON. 6. The spirits of Milton are unlike those of almost all other writers. His fiends, in particular, are wonderful creations. They are not metaphysical abstractions. They are not wicked men. They are not ugly beasts. They have no horns, no tails, none of the fee-faw-fum of Tasso and Klopstock. They have just enough in common with human nature to be intelligible to human beings. MACAULAY. (See the last quotation in § 65.) 7. This work [a new edition of Boswell's Life of Johnson] has greatly disappointed us. Whatever faults we may have been prepared to find in it, we fully expected that it would be a valuable addition to English literature; that it would contain many curious facts, and many judicious remarks; that the style of the notes would be neat, clear, and precise; and that the typographical execution would be, as in new editions of classical works it ought to be, almost faultless. MACAULAY. (Exercise XXXVIII, § 583.) 376. Coördination; caution. In using relative pronouns and conjunctions we should be careful not to violate the principle of coördination in parallelism by connecting words, phrases, or clauses which are not coördinate (for relative clauses in parallel arrangement, see §§ 96, 97): 1. She could neither play nor sing. (Not 'She neither could play nor sing'; nor 'She could neither play or sing'; nor 'She neither could play or sing'.) She neither asked to go nor wished to go. (Not 'She asked neither to go nor wished to go '.) 2. She could not only play, but sing. (Not 'She not only could play, but sing') She not only could play, but wished to play. (Not She could not only play, but wished to play '.) 3. I am afraid that he will be too busy to see me. (Not I am afraid that he will be so busy that he can't see me '.) He said it rained so hard the day he was starting back that he hesitated to undertake the trip. (Not 'He said that it rained so hard the day that he was starting back that he', etc.) 4. It was a small room with one window, at which a young girl sat. (Not 'It was a small room, in which there was but one window, at which', etc.; see the quotation from Trollope in § 96.) 5. A committee was appointed, consisting of Messieurs Brown and Jones, who represented capital, and Messieurs Lee and Thomas, who represented labor. (Not 'A committee was appointed, consisting of Messieurs Brown and Jones, representing capital, and Messieurs Lee and Thomas, representing labor'.) (Exercise XXXVIII, § 583.) 377. Lincoln's style. As for style, Lincoln has left examples of purity of speech that will be as enduring as the language in which they were written. His model was the Bible. |