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7. Faulty: They will spend the vacation in travel through Italy, where they meet Mrs. Benton's mother, Switzerland, and France. (Say They will . . . Italy, Switzerland, and France. In Italy they will meet Mrs. Benton's mother'; but perhaps 'meet' should be 'be joined by '.)

8. Faulty: Kneeling by the bedside, she was covering a hand fast growing cold with kisses and tears. (Say 'Kneeling by the bedside, she was covering with kisses and tears a hand', etc.) (Exercise XXXVI, a, § 581.)

B, 2, b. Indefinite antecedent. The use of pronouns with an indefinite antecedent should generally be avoided :

1. Faulty: Such customs are usual in countries where they have no large communities. (Say 'where there are', etc.)

2. Faulty: They don't have trees like this in our town. (Say 'We don't have', etc.)

3. Faulty: She explained coloration in animals, of which I knew nothing. (Say 'animals, a subject of which', etc.) (Exercise XXXVI, b, § 581.)

367. For other points of clearness, see Clearness in the Index. 368. Clearness through figures of speech. The difference between the literal and the figurative use of words is explained in § 379. Figures of speech are word pictures. They should not be used unless they illustrate the thought or express it more clearly and more forcibly. They should not be mixed; for this produces, not a picture, but a blur. For example, we may say his burning words inflamed his hearers' or 'his cold words chilled his hearers'; but we may not say 'his burning words chilled his hearers'.

In the following sentences observe the figures of speech: 1. The camel is the ship of the desert.

2. This novel is said to be founded on fact.

3. I have gone astray like a lost sheep.

THE BIBLE.

4. A poor man that oppresseth the poor is like a sweeping rain which leaveth no food. The Bible,

5. The love of money is the root of all evil.

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6. The earth shall wax old like a garment. THE BIBLE.

7. Some books are to be tasted, others to be swallowed, and some few to be chewed and digested. LORD BACON.

8. They have sown the wind, and they shall reap the whirlwind. - THE BIBLE.

9. As the mountains are round about Jerusalem, so the Lord is round about his people from henceforth even for ever. - THE BIBLE. 10. She speaks poniards, and every word stabs. — SHAKESPEARE. 11. Silently, one by one, in the infinite meadows of heaven,

Blossomed the lovely stars, the forget-me-nots of the angels. 369. Mixed figures. Avoid mixing figures of speech (§ 368). In the following sentences observe the mixed figures: 1. Faulty: The trouble was not rooted out, and soon blazed forth again with renewed vigor. (Say 'and soon sprang up'.)

2. Faulty: Like a sheep without a shepherd, he became the plaything of the winds and sea. (Say 'Like a ship without a rudder, he', etc.)

3. Faulty: The dog handled him roughly. (A dog has no hands; say 'treated'.)

4. Faulty: He wished to eradicate all obstacles. (Eradicate means to pull up by the roots; we speak of eradicating evil or disease, but of removing or of overcoming obstacles.)

5. Faulty: By watching your steps you will avoid the reefs and sandbanks. (Say 'avoid the snares and pitfalls'.)

6. Faulty: The backbone of the cold wave is broken. (Say 'The backbone of winter is broken'. Winter is here personified; a wave does not have a backbone.)

7. Faulty: The ship of state has a rough road to travel. (Say 'is starting on a rough voyage'.)

8. Faulty: Columbus sailed across the Sea of Darkness, and stumbled on America. (Say 'and by chance found America '.)

9. Faulty: We shipped the goods by rail. (Say 'We sent', etc.) This misuse of ship is an Americanism. A company that sends goods otherwise than by ship should use the term ' transportation department' (not 'shipping'). See ship, § 417.

370. Force in sentence. To make language forcible, it is necessary not only to choose the right words to express the thought, but to put the most emphatic words in the most emphatic places. The most emphatic places in the sentence are at the beginning and the end. Care should be taken not to smother emphatic words by putting them in the middle of the sentence (or of a clause), and not to close the sentence with a weak ending; an unemphatic preposition at the end of the sentence does not violate this principle, since the emphasis falls on the word before the preposition (see § 286).

To test the force in a sentence, use the following outline (some examples are given below the outline):

A. Position of words. (Exercise XXXVII, a, § 582.)

1. In ordinary sentence.

If the emphatic words are not at the beginning and the end, they should be put there; a change in the usual order of the words produces unusual emphasis. See the examples below, A, I.

2. In climactic sentence.

If the emphatic words are not arranged in an ascending series, growing in interest and power, they should be rearranged. See the examples below, A, 2.

B. Faulty repetition.

1. Of words. (Exercise XXXVII, b, § 582.)

a. Redundancy.

If there are words, phrases, or clauses which do not help to express the thought, they should be omitted. See § 413. See Redundancy in the Index.

b. Tautology.

If there is a needless repetition of ideas, the repetition should be omitted (for the correct use of repetition, see § 371). See §§ 192, 413.

2. Of sound.

If there is an unpleasant repetition of sound, it should be avoided. See the examples below, B, 2.

C. Voice and tense. (Exercise XXXVII, c, § 582.)

If the verb is in the passive voice, it should, if possible, be changed to the active; if the present tense is used to denote past action, it should preferably be changed to the past tense. See §§ 208, 213, N., 355, B, 2 (examples).

D. Force in repetition. See § 371.

E. Periodic and loose sentence; variety.

If the sentences are monotonous in length and form, they should be varied. See § 372.

A, 1. Arranging words in ordinary sentence:

1. A great dog sat at the door. At the door sat a great dog.

(Normal emphasis.)
(Unusual emphasis.)

2. Starvation was the only thing left to him if he delayed.

If he delayed, the only thing left to him was starvation. (Do not say 'If he delayed, starvation was the only thing left to him '; for the ending is weak.)

3. The West-India trade; the trade with West India. § 416. 4. They have eyes, but they do not see.

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THE BIBLE.

Eyes have they, but they see not. THE BIBLE. 5. Thou didst not anoint my head with oil. My head with oil thou didst not anoint. 6. Towards this spot they directed their weary steps. 7. In the thicket two eyes watched, and two ears listened.

DICKENS.

8. Faulty: There was no alternative, however. (Say 'However, there was', etc.; or, with less emphasis on however, and with more formality, 'There was, however, no alternative'.) (Exercise XXXVII, $ 582.)

A, 2. Arranging words in climactic sentence (see climax, $ 417):

1. Tribulation worketh patience; and patience, experience; and experience, hope. — THE BIBLE.

2. He was an object of admiration to his subjects, his allies, and his enemies.

3. Onward he journeyed to a happier shore,

Where danger, death, and shame assault no more.

4.

Last scene of all,

That ends this strange eventful history,

Is second childishness, and mere oblivion,

Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.

SHAKESPEARE.

NOTE. Anticlimax is used to produce a humorous effect: I have left at your house my heart and my toothbrush' (A. S. HILL). (Exercise XXXVII, § 582.)

B, 2. Avoiding unpleasant repetition of sound:

1. Faulty: I know of no other. (Say 'I do not know of any other'.)

2. Faulty: Every one will want one. (Say 'Everybody will want one'; § 108.)

3. Faulty: He ordered that the orders should be forwarded immediately. (Say ' He commanded that the orders should be sent immediately '.)

4. Faulty: They wished the uniforms to be uniform in size. (Say 'They wished the ùniforms to be of one size '.)

5. Faulty: This means that he will succeed by means of his own efforts only. (Say 'will not succeed except through his own efforts' or the like; care should be taken not to use a word in two ways in the same sentence.)

6. Faulty: This has been recently abundantly and conclusively demonstrated. (Say 'This has, in recent times, been abundantly', etc.)

7. Faulty: This number is probably considerably too high. (Say 'It is probable that this number is', etc.)

8. Faulty: This gave rise to an uprising. (Say 'This caused an uprising'.)

9. Faulty: I was unaware of his whereabouts. (Say 'I was ignorant', etc.)

10. Faulty: She described the proceedings preceding the dinner. (Say' She described what took place before the dinner '.)

11. Faulty: He charged them to send for a doctor, while he bent over his beautiful charge and tried to restore her. (Say 'He bade them send', etc.)

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