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had not been regularly matriculated in one of these Academies or Societies, and a due Examination had, and taken, by the proper Officers, of the Talents and Abilities of the feveral Pupils and Students, that every one should have his proper Poft affigned him, and not prefume to exceed the Commiffion given him by his refpective Superiors and Directors. And here, to avoid Confufion, I fhould propofe that the whole Body fhould be divided into three general Ranks, Claffes, or Degrees, which was the ancient Establishment, even in the earliest Time, as I could clearly make appear from the Hiftory of all Ages, though by the Negligence or Presumption of late Pretenders, this neceffary Subordination has been greatly neglected, to the apparent Prejudice of our Society. Of this you have a faint Refemblance in the academical Degrees, which may help to give us an Idea of the general Plan.

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The Rifors are a very ancient, numerous, and useful Body of Men, mentioned under different Names in the Hiftories and Languages of all Nations. Horace mentions them under this very Name of Rifors. Rifores inter Satyrofque dicaces. And Ridentes; Ridentem dicere verum Quid vetat? As their Bufinefs is nothing but to fmile, laugh, or grin upon proper Occafions, very few and flender Talents are required of them; a

foft

foft Forehead, and a flexible Set of Mufcles are fufficient Qualifications for one of those Gentlemen to begin with. These being affifted and improved by a regülar and natural Education, through the Nursery, the Still-room, the Dancing-fchool, the Dog-kennel, and the Stable, (I mean only a Country Education, where no better Improvements of that kind can be had) will make an able and useful Rifor. I call this a natural Education, because it is following and Improving the original Bias and Inclinations of unprejudiced Nature, in which the great Secret of a proper Education is known to confift. Injudicious Parents are too apt to call in the Affiftance of Book-learned Pedants, under the Notion of Tutors, Mäfters, and Governors, who are for putting their young Pupils into fuch Methods as are apt to injure their Eyes and their Health, puzzle their Heads, check their Appetites, cramp their Genius, and prejudice their Understandings, by Lectures of Pedantry, Enthusiasm, and Superstition; whereas if they were left to themselves, their Inclinations to run in their proper Channel, as directed by the infallible Light of Nature, they would (generally speaking) fall naturally into this Train of Life and Action. Horace, who is universally allowed to be a good Judge of Nature, is intirely of this Opinion, and tells you, that this is the Tendency and Course of Nature, unreftrained by Difcipline, and unprejudiced by Education. Imberbis juvenis, tandem cuftode remoto. (Ay, ay, obferve those Words, Cuftode remoto, there lies the Pinch of the whole Affair; if it were not for those impertinent Pedants, Nature would have fair play,) Gaudet equis canibufque & aprici gramine campi : Would delight in Horfes and Dogs, and the Diversions of the CounVOL. I.

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try,

try, in the most extenfive Senfe and Meaning of the Word. It would not indeed be amifs, if, without in-juring their Health and prejudicing their Minds, they could be taught to read, and write, and spell tolerably, it might be of ufe to themselves, and give fome Credit to their Order; but it is fo far from being abfolutely neceffary, that I know feveral who make a good Figure among them, and yet can do neither. The being able to laugh properly, by the Direction of their Superiors, depends upon no great Acquirements or Improvements of Understanding; for it is beyond all queftion, that the first Founders of Mankind could laugh before they could write or read., Rifibility, or the Faculty of Laughing, is fo effential to a reafonable Creature, that it enters into a Definition of a Man, and is convertible with it; it is the first visible Symptom of Sense and Reason in Infants, and is the proper Medium by which Philofophers have thought fit to prove it in their ordinary Syftems of Logic: Omne rifibile eft rationale is as certain and well-known a Maxim, as that two and two make four. To this I fuppofe you will object, upon the Authority of our Friend Horace, that fomething more should be expected from a fimple Rifor than mere Laughing, becaufe he has joined Rifores Satyrofque dicaces together; and, in another Paffage, he supposes that the Ridens (or Rifor, which is all one) may be able to speak truth, and confequently talk Sense when he asks the Question; Ridentem. dicere verum quid vetat? As to the firft Objection, it is obvious, at first Sight, that the Epithet dicaces is intirely appropriated to Satyros, and has nothing to do with Rifores; and this is the concurring Judgment of the best Critics, and Com、

mentators:

mentators: As for the latter, it answers itfelf. When the Poet afks the Queftion, What hinders a Rifor from speaking Truth, or talking Sense? the very Terms of the Question imply a ftrong Negation, i. e. nothing hinders him. And therefore, if he does neither, it is intirely his own Fault, no body will hinder him from doing it if he can; and therefore, if he does not, it is purely owing to his Want of Inclination, or Ability, or both.

The Gentlemen of this Clafs should be forbid, under fevere Penalties, to attempt any thing beyond their proper Sphere, or indeed within it, unless in Aid of their proper Superiors, who are to be confidered as their commanding Officers: As for instance, if a Querift, or Paralogician, fhould take it in his Head to act offenfively, and begin an Attack upon any Perfon, or Cause, which, for Want of Skill, or Ability, he fhould not be able to maintain, then, in fuch a Cafe, the Rifors, fome of whom are always to attend and support fuch Superiors, fhould, upon a proper Signal, burst out all at once into a loud Laugh, which feldom fails to confound and difconcert the most cunning Adversary, and, like springing a Mine, fupplies, by Stratagem, the Want of proper Strength and good Conduct: For the Rifors are to be confidered as the private Men of the Corps, who are to obey the Word of Command, and attempt nothing without it; or, like Cyphers, which, though nothing at all in themselves, yet, by a proper Affortment with People of Figure, are known to make out very well, and turn to a good Account.

If any Gentleman of this Clafs fhould, by ftriking out into the World, and keeping the best Company,

be fo happy as to arrive at fuch a Competency of Front and Humour, as to be able to enliven Conversation with a Dash of Pleasantry and Banter, should be witty enough to ward off a serious Argument, or a pinching Question, with a Joke or a Pun, he fhall, upon proper Testimonials of his Proficiency, be admitted into a higher Class, called the DERISORS, Jokers, Banterers, or merry Fellows, answering to the Degree of Junior Sophs in the University. These are allowed not only to laugh at Religion, but to be witty to the best of their Abilities, upon Parfons Prieftcraft, Creeds, and Creed-makers, &c. or any other Topic that may divert and encourage our Friends, or expofe and confound our Enemies, and this to be always accompanied with proper Motions and Expreffions of Railery and Humour, fuch as á .contemptuous Cock of the Nofe, Leer of the Eye, Contraction of the Nether-lip, and Elevation of the .Chin, fuch as we frequently obferve among the young Orators in the Coffee-houfes near the Inns of Court, and the polite End of the Town.

If, after due Tryal in this Class, it appears that any of them are capable of further Improvement, and discover a good Degree of Fire and Spirit, they fhall then be admitted into the higheft Rank or Degree of Rifors, called the IRRISORS, answering to the Degree of Senior Sophs; and shall be allowed not only to laugh and be witty, but to infult upon proper Occafions; especially when they have to do with modeft peaceable People, who are in no Danger of returning the Compliment in their own Way. They may then fafely and reasonably bully and hector, lay Wagers, call Fool, or Puppy, or Son of a Whore,

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